Dr. Chmait called today with our results … All of Andrews chromosomes are great, however his Kidneys are worse than expected.  He was hoping they would be below 6.3 … they came back 8.5.   Kidney function is essential for life … if this little guy can’t regain some function ( all he needs is 1/4 of 1 kidney to have normal renal function ) then I may not have a baby.

My heart hurts in a way I can’t even describe …    I’m canceling the baby shower my mom had begun to plan and the nursery is offically on hold.  I can’t bare to do anything else to it, I can’t even imagine the hurt to have a baby room and no baby to bring home to it.<

We have fetal surgery in 2 days  … Dr. Chmait is going to place a Vesicoamniotic Shunt in Andrew . ( Essentially, a shunt is placed between the baby’s bladder and the amniotic fluid, thus relieving the blockage. This approach is meant to prevent further kidney and lung damage. The final treatment of the obstruction is performed after the birth of the child. In cases that have been determined to be in the favorable prognostic category the approximate perinatal survival using this treatment approach is 66%, of which half will have significant kidney damage and may need dialysis or kidney transplant. Risks of shunt placement include dislodgement/blockage/malfunction (25%) thus requiring multiple shunt placements during the pregnancy, urinary ascites (leakage of urine from the bladder into the baby’s abdomen), and fetal death (4%).

I’ll have to stay overnight in the hospital for this procedure …   UHHH … this is the most helpless feeling ever.  I can’t control any of this and it’s really eating at me.  How do I accept that i can’t do anything to change or fix any of this ? Totally shity, doesn’t even feel like my life.